moneyfurnace.com

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resume for Randal Svea



Moneyfurnace.com got its start in 1999 in a basement not far from the heart of Silicon Valley. From there, it moved quickly to the garage, then back to the basement, then to the garage, then to the curb, and then back to the basement.

Like all the hot Internet start-ups, moneyfurnace.com isn't concerned about trivial things like location, people, or resources. That's old school. We believe in staying fluid, dynamic, and energetic. Wherever the money is is where we're at.

While other Internet companies make the mistake of getting stuck ot a particular product or service, moneyfurnace will never make that mistake. At moneyfurnace.com, our business is moneyfurnace.com. And no one can do that better than us.

Other companies waste investors' money hiring huge staffs and developing impractical technologies.

Not us.

First, we burn your money to make charcoal. Then we burn the charcoal to power machinery to burn CD-ROMS of freeware and shareware. Then we mail the CDs first-class to anyone and everyone who doesn't already have a restraining order against us. Then we use the mink we've skinned to feed the rest of the mink. We feed the pelts to the ostriches. We use the ostrich meat to buy more chinchillas. It's turtles all the way down.

We burn the chinchillas to power a printing press so we can print our own money. Then we burn it.