about us
resume for Randal Svea

Public Relations

At Public Relations, we believe our best relations our with the public. Especially when that public is you.

Our Public Relations department is dedicated to relating to you publicly, and, when necessary, privately. is currently a private company, but when we go public, we will relate it to you. We will not keep it private.

Here are a few sample press releases:

  • founded in basement of garage
  • develops steam-powered server technology, so it can harness the burning of money more efficiently
  • develops less-efficient steam technology, so it can burn money with less results
  • applies for patent on one-click money-burning process
  • spends first billion
  • spends eleventy-billion dollars
  • purchases newly discovered cache of Confederate money, burns it
  • uses wheelbarrow full of German Deutschmarks to purchase loaf of bread, burns it
  • prints one-billionth press release, burns it