An immodest proposal
Kidcare krap
A tale of two units
Looking for a few good gentlemen
A tale of two Kens
The foreskin of Christ
Jehovah is just all right with me
From Day-glo to camouflage to blaze orange
Pull up your pants
Confessions of a carnivore
Advice to the lustlorn
Don't shave, unless you really want to
The future, inch by centimeter, is still a long way off
I got guns, you got guns,
all God's children got guns
Coming clean
Home, sweet home
Everything I needed to know about fiscal conservatism I learned from public TV
Gay rant
Dear Mr. Lucifer
Sleep late, avoid yogurt and don't drink decaf
Babble on, junior historian
A war is a war is a war
Worse than Hitler but not as bad as broccoli
G.I. Joe will face dollhood like a man
Mighty Morphin Bible Thumpers
The Cat and the Whipand other stories for children
Salmonella and sandwiches
A cure for government waste: more government officials
Attack of the killer potatoes
A rationale for public butt-touching
Fellas, it's too rough to scan ya
Putting a 4-year-old in charge
Probability, schmobability
Too dumb for an idiot stick
Interview with the blood donor
Goofy's a father
Get thee to Disneyland
Mr. Wifty's

The Devil's Pen Pal is a humor column.
It is not affiliated with Satanism or any official pen pal program.

More rants on the way.

To clarify things a little:
Randel Shard is the pen name of Randal Svea.
That's why you never see the two together in the same room.

To bother me, send an e-mail to

Or, if you prefer consistency,